Selfie Sunday?

Selfies, the bane of my existence... Why can't I take a good selfie?!

I suppose I haven't had much practice. I just got a phone with a front-facing camera about a month ago. Still, every time I try to take a selfie, it ends up looking REALLY bad. So, I decided to start studying my friend's selfies.

Everyone seems to have their signature pose and facial expression that they use for all of their selfies. I've tried using some of them, but it just ends up looking wrong! So, I decided to further analyze why I don't like my selfies. I'm doing everything exactly the way they're doing it so why don't mine look good?

Poof! I was struck with an epiphany! I don't like my selfies, because I don't like any selfies! The reason being that there are two types of selfies per gender.

• Guys
• The Douchebag - We've all seen this one before. These are the guys who are so completely and utterly taken with themselves that they don't realize how stupid they look. They usually wear a snapback, are shirtless and make a face that reminds me of a constipated donkey.
• The Comedian - These are the guys who make fun of the douchebags. They take the most douchey pictures possible to make a statement. These are tolerable, in my opinion.
• Girls
• The Slut - These are the kinds of pictures where girls make a "come hither" look and place the camera just right so their boobs look bigger than they actually are. If you are going to take a selfie, I recommend that you completely avoid this type of picture. It will give off the wrong impression!
• The "Call Me Pretty" Picture - These are the kinds of pictures where girls take a stunningly gorgeous picture that they know looks incredible (mainly because they put a filter on it) and then in the description put something along the lines of "Ugh, I look so ugly in this picture!" This makes all of her friends feel the need to call her pretty in the comments. Just a note, if she didn't think she looked good in the picture, she wouldn't have posted it.

Obviously, I don't want to take any of the above girl pictures as they would both make me look conceited which is not something I want to have happen. I'm thinking the closest thing to what I want is the comedian but somehow when girls do it, they just look stupid. Why is it that guys can get away with anything?

Well, back to the drawing board. Looks like I won't be taking any selfies any time soon. Maybe I should just stick to nature pics.

-- B