Guess Who's Back

Wow, look at that. Only took 11 years for me to post again.

I suddenly recalled that I had this blog and I actually quite enjoyed posting in it. To be fair, looking back, my content was not exactly awe-inspiring (and in some cases, possibly problematic), but it's a nice creative outlet for someone who often feels like they're drowning in thoughts.

A lot has happened since I last updated here. I graduated high school, graduated college, had my first official relationship and first official break-up. I started a big girl job and moved to Wisconsin. My mom had cancer (twice) and passed away last year. I have a house, a cat, and a partner. I got diagnosed with autism. I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I finally understand what a quarter life crisis truly is.

The world is a shitshow in many ways, and we're all just trying to get through it. There are bright spots amid the many, many dark spots, so maybe I can use this as a way to remember those moments as they happen.

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Today is a Monday which means I'm thinking about the fact that my moments of freedom are behind me. Fortunately, I got up on time today, despite the fact I way miscalculated what my bedtime should be (I shouldn't be trusted to do math in my head). I even got myself a coffee and a pastry to help push through it.

When I was younger, I wanted to be a teacher. I always enjoyed explaining concepts and, most of all, seeing that moment when something just clicks. There's a magic look behind a person's eyes when that happens that is so wonderful and exciting, especially when they've been struggling for a while. Fortunately, in my job, I occasionally get to do some level of education and I don't actually have to deal with children since I've learned that may not be a good fit for me.

However, I don't know if I actually like my job. I'm trying to figure that out. For so long, I've prioritized money and using my abilities, regardless of whether or not I actually care about the thing I'm doing. I think most of all I've just cared about being liked and having people be proud of me. I'm starting not to care anymore though. Or at least, I'm trying not to care anymore.

Part of my journey this year was having a wee bit of a mental breakdown. I completely collapsed. Though, if I'm being honest, I'd been in the process of collapsing many years. It just finally got to the point that other people started noticing too. I was messing up a lot, I was struggling with my anxiety and depression, and I had a hard time taking care of myself. I realized that I need to start prioritizing my needs and what I want. However, that's much easier said than done, especially when I don't actually know what those needs or wants are a lot of the time.

One helpful bit is that I'm finally going to be able to return to community theater. I hadn't done it for about 10 years but I finally got into a show in 2023 and it's like a drug. It's so much fun to be able to perform and I've been able to make friends and see people outside of my work life. It's so refreshing to have enforced creative time and a reason to get out of the house.

I think my goal at this point in my life is to find what actually sparks joy (to use a Marie Kondo-ism) and to get rid of the things that don't. Within reason, of course. I'm hoping I'll be able to find work that I'm truly passionate about or at least truly enjoy. Maybe that is here, I think I just need to figure that out.

--B

Amateur Sleuth Blog Puzzle #228

If you don't already know, I am a huge fan of the Nancy Drew games series (and the book series). Well, HerInteractive, the company that makes said games, has a blog called the Amateur Sleuth blog which you can find here and every Friday a puzzle is posted for us to solve. I am planning on trying to solve these puzzles to the best of my abilities every Friday (or almost every Friday) and post my results here.

Let's get started!

So, this week's puzzle involves this image:

I realized that these were the symbols for the horoscope signs, so with some careful google research I was able to determine what those were. However, I also realized that there are some planetary symbols as well so I found the names for those too.

I ended up with the left column being Aries, Leo, Pisces, Virgo, Jupiter, Moon and the right column would be Taurus, Cancer, Venus, Earth, Capricorn and Mars. Now, I just had to figure out what the numbers meant. I decided to see if they were the numbers of the letter we were supposed to use (i.e., Aries 4 is E). With this strategy, I ended up with eleven sevens. But, then I was at a loss as to what this meant.

After some perusing of the HerInteractive message boards, I discovered that other people had gotten the same answer as me (Yay!). Also, they were guessing that it might mean eleven weeks. If this is the case, then perhaps this is a hint at the release date of The Shattered Medallion, the next game that is supposed to come out.

Anyway, do you guys have any theories as to what this means?

--B

Fun Facts with Bryce

I have a tendency to spew out useless facts to my friends and family in my daily life. So, I've decided that I would create a sort of series of these fun facts with Bryce segments on my blog.

Fact #1: When an acronym is not pronounceable (e.g., SMH, DFTBA, FBI), it is actually called an initialism.

Fact #2: 100 hours of video is uploaded to YouTube every minute.

Fact #3: There is a man from Portland who sells shares of himself and lets shareholders vote on major decisions in his life.

That's all I have to say for today, but I am planning to do some more of these. There's something to look forward to.

--B

Second is the First to Lose

If you are as big of a fan of Dance Moms as I am, then you probably recognized the title of this post as something that Abby Lee says to her dancers all the time. In a way, this is kind of true.

It should be that the closer you were to first place, the more praise you would receive. However, we view second place as something to look down upon. We view the second placers (is that a term?) as people who weren't good enough to be first. Even though this is technically true, the other places don't get as much flack for losing. Instead, we say that they tried their best and just couldn't cut it. Why is that?

A person who receives second place should be complimented because they were really close to winning. A nice pat on the back for them would be nice every once in a while. With the attitude that we have towards losers, it discourages people from even trying because they are so afraid of failing.

So, in conclusion, be nice to people who receive second place. They are often the middle child of the competitors, pushed to the side and forgotten.

You're probably asking why I all of a sudden decided to rant about second place. It's not like I play sports so what possible way could I benefit from this. Well, I could lie and say that it was entirely for the benefit of the people who are directly affected by this problem and I was influenced whilst watching the Olympics (which I haven't been doing). In actuality, I was one good roll away from winning Settlers of Catan and I am very upset that I lost.

So, this entire blog post was driven by the fact that I am a sore loser...

--B

P.S. If you don't like Dance Moms, you are wrong.

Cue the Angry Mob with Torches and Pitchforks

I know. I suck.

I haven't posted for months and months and months. I was just so busy sorting through all of my Valentines that I didn't have time to blog...

Okay...maybe that's not what happened. I actually have been drowning in schoolwork because I have four AP classes this year along with other classes and things that I'm doing outside of school because, contrary to popular belief, I really do have a life.

So, I don't really have anything to actually talk about today, but I thought I would type out a formal apology and let you know that I am not dead.

I will talk to you soon (hopefully).

--B

If We Were a Movie...

Life is really weird. This is where it's about to get deep and philosophical. Just excuse me for a moment as I form my analogy.

Every person's life is like a movie. While the coffee barista at Starbucks may be an insignificant character in your movie, she's the star in her own movie, which we will most likely never get to see. What's crazy to me is that we see all of these people every day and we have no idea who they are or what their story is. In fact, most of the time we're too caught up in our own lives to care about anybody else's. The people who we do have in our lives are special. When we talk with them about their lives it's like we're watching Netflix so we can get up to date on everything that's happened so far and then, we get involved with their story and the characters in it. We get emotionally attached.

I apologize if this post makes it seem like I was doing some sort of hallucinatory drug. It's just an observation I made.

I guess the point, or moral, of the story is that we should appreciate the people we have in our lives. Everyone has a unique point of view and an interesting story to tell. But will you take the time to see it unfold?

--B

Teenage Dream? It's more like a nightmare, Katy.

Since puberty seems to be occurring earlier and earlier, kids seem to get into relationships much sooner than they should. Luckily, this has given me plenty of time to form some opinions on teenage relationships, most of which are probably controversial. This is mainly because I look at things logically.

Anyway, teenagers are extremely hormonal and immature. This leads to a lot of problems.

One problem is the fact that no one seems to be able to make up their mind. I know one girl who likes three or four guys right now and each one thinks that he is the only one. All I want to do is say, "Pick one already!" Unfortunately, I'm too nice to do that. Instead, I will just complain about my problems on the internet.

Another problem is the fact that every person I know becomes a total douchebag when they get into a relationship. I get that you aren't going to be spending as much time with me, but do you have to be so flaky? Some people just blatantly ignore me when they're in a relationship, others cancel plans last minute because they decided they would do something with their significant (for a week) other instead. Personally, I prefer the former. At least I can make plans with other people then.

What bugs you about teen relationships?

--B